was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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