at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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