New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
