So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
