i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
