I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
