I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
