Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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