You just made me feel so damn special
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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