I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
