got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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