The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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