I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
