Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
