I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
