if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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