How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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