last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
