she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
