Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
