in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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