guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
