I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
