you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
