she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
