THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
