I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
