just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
