can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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