My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
