As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
