i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
