shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I think I just sharted jello shots
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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