Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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