Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
