Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
