It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
