i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
