brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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