party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
