Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
