Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
