I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
