Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
