She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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