How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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