I hope mine doesn't look like that
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
