dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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