FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
