a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
