Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
babies were throwing up all over the place
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need water and some morals
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
