It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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