i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize