im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
