It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
