Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
